☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

vi

[greyaria]

I'll get the blowtorch!

[neverknocks]

i feel like there are other, more practical and less flammable ways we can do this that won't come back to bite me in the ass

[greyaria]

To be honest, I was only offering because I'm already carrying a blowtorch.

[neverknocks]

do i want to know why you're carrying a blowtorch on your person at 0230

[greyaria]

Late-night crème brûlée craving. :)

[neverknocks]

oh that's...actually pretty reasonable. and delicious.

wait. how big is the blowtorch

[greyaria]

Only about 30 million joules. It's just cooking.

[neverknocks]

you know, i'm really glad culinary arts isn't my area of expertise, because i don't really wanna know how much overkill that is for creme brulee

anyway that's a neg on the blowtorch, doc

[greyaria]

There is absolutely no point in buying one of those tiny little kitchen torches when you can just use the one from the garage.

Jaws of Life?

[neverknocks]

it's a garbage can, doc, i think we could just tip it over

gently.

[greyaria]

Oh, I thought it must have been welded shut.

[because why else would carolina need help?]

[neverknocks]

jesus, no. she's just...stuck. and passed out. and i'm pretty sure if she wakes up that way, i'm gonna be in the doghouse for like, an ice age.

[greyaria]

You know, since you showed up the Freelancers have been getting into a whole lot more situations that resemble what the Reds and Blues do when unsupervised.

[neverknocks]

wow. seriously? i think my life just hit a record low point, and i've been dead before

[greyaria]

Previously I have only ever had to remove a wastebasket from Caboose's head and a bucket from Sarge's foot.

[neverknocks]

yeah, well, carolina's always been an overachiever

[greyaria]

You should start thinking about ways to bribe Epsilon not to tell her about any of this.

[neverknocks]

yeah, i'm not so sure my secondary strategy of groveling would work out so well if the bribe doesn't pay off

[greyaria]

Statistically speaking, within the week someone else will do something so idiotic she'll redirect her aggression.

[neverknocks]

yes, but i have to survive that aggression first

[greyaria]

If she hasn't killed Tucker yet, you're safe.

[neverknocks]

honestly? i would actually rather be tucker right now. and that is not something i say lightly.

[greyaria]

If you need to talk, my office door is always open.

[the first rule of chorus club is DO NOT LET DR GREY PSYCHOANALYZE YOU]

[neverknocks]

[ N O P E ]

how did we go from "get my superior officer out of the trash can" to "york therapy hour"?

[greyaria]

You said you'd rather be Tucker. That's an extremely troubling sentiment, York!