Entry tags:
[ (muffled gay screaming) ]
Being a Peak Lord has lots of perks, one of them being that it's a whole lot easier for Shang Qinghua to wave off his regular trips to the Demon Realm as ""business trips"" now that he has no superiors to come up with convincing lies for. Zhangmen-shixiong isn't a bad sect leader, but he's just so trusting. That, and...no one ever reads the logistics reports, yet another example of An Ding Peak's hard work going overlooked. But it works out in Shang Qinghua's favor, so he's not going to complain. Maybe if Cang Qiong Mountain Sect didn't want their Peak Lords to become corrupt and misappropriate sect resources, they shouldn't make it so easy?
Ah, well. Not like this is really Shang Qinghua's chosen lifestyle, he'd be off living a life of happy obscurity if it weren't for the System cornering him into this stupid plotline. If he hadn't faltered when he and Mobei Jun first met, when he'd actually had the opportunity...ugh, but he can't even bring himself to regret that, either! Besides, having Mobei Jun for a boss...hasn't been as terrible as he thought it would? He's nicer than Shang Qinghua remembers writing him towards the original goods, although admittedly there wasn't a whole lot of that in the original novel because...haha.
Because he fucking died so early on in the plot!!!
The thought is really weighing on him right now, in particular because the information he's bringing Mobei Jun this time is early intel on the sect's participation in the Immortal Alliance Conference. The System cornered him into this life, but he's not so willing to give it up, so he's been trying to butter up Mobei Jun from the start. You save someone's life once, you get some gratitude, sure, but if you make yourself indispensable to them? Well, Shang Qinghua definitely isn't at that level, but he always brings snacks or some other novelty from the human world along with the information, and he hopes it's working. It seems to be, at any rate. Mobei Jun doesn't beat him up on the regular, although...it does kind of make Shang Qinghua worry that something's gone wrong. Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to get the shit kicked out of him, it's just that it feels off, that's all...
It's just...the Mobei Jun he remembers writing was, hmmm, more sexily menacing, you know?
Maybe he really is just grateful to Shang Qinghua for saving him and all his continued service. He also probably just likes having someone to shove paperwork onto. Whenever Shang Qinghua comes to deliver intel, he inevitably winds up sitting around and doing a bunch of logistics legwork for the demons, so in that sense, it really is basically...just a business trip.
Shang Qinghua pokes his head into Mobei Jun's chambers before inching inside. Mobei Jun's mood could well change at the drop of a hat, so Shang Qinghua stays on his toes. You just never know with a guy like that, okay! The man has a face like a stone wall. An incredibly manly chiseled stone wall, but still—
"Hello, my king? I come bringing gifts..." He holds up an armful of scrolls, a bag of melon seeds in one fist. One of the scrolls slips through his arms and falls to the floor, and the second he moves to try and pick it up, several more tumble out of his arms. So it's gonna be that kinda day, huh. Ahh, fuck. "Haha, sorry, sorry, I'll get those—"
Ah, well. Not like this is really Shang Qinghua's chosen lifestyle, he'd be off living a life of happy obscurity if it weren't for the System cornering him into this stupid plotline. If he hadn't faltered when he and Mobei Jun first met, when he'd actually had the opportunity...ugh, but he can't even bring himself to regret that, either! Besides, having Mobei Jun for a boss...hasn't been as terrible as he thought it would? He's nicer than Shang Qinghua remembers writing him towards the original goods, although admittedly there wasn't a whole lot of that in the original novel because...haha.
Because he fucking died so early on in the plot!!!
The thought is really weighing on him right now, in particular because the information he's bringing Mobei Jun this time is early intel on the sect's participation in the Immortal Alliance Conference. The System cornered him into this life, but he's not so willing to give it up, so he's been trying to butter up Mobei Jun from the start. You save someone's life once, you get some gratitude, sure, but if you make yourself indispensable to them? Well, Shang Qinghua definitely isn't at that level, but he always brings snacks or some other novelty from the human world along with the information, and he hopes it's working. It seems to be, at any rate. Mobei Jun doesn't beat him up on the regular, although...it does kind of make Shang Qinghua worry that something's gone wrong. Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to get the shit kicked out of him, it's just that it feels off, that's all...
It's just...the Mobei Jun he remembers writing was, hmmm, more sexily menacing, you know?
Maybe he really is just grateful to Shang Qinghua for saving him and all his continued service. He also probably just likes having someone to shove paperwork onto. Whenever Shang Qinghua comes to deliver intel, he inevitably winds up sitting around and doing a bunch of logistics legwork for the demons, so in that sense, it really is basically...just a business trip.
Shang Qinghua pokes his head into Mobei Jun's chambers before inching inside. Mobei Jun's mood could well change at the drop of a hat, so Shang Qinghua stays on his toes. You just never know with a guy like that, okay! The man has a face like a stone wall. An incredibly manly chiseled stone wall, but still—
"Hello, my king? I come bringing gifts..." He holds up an armful of scrolls, a bag of melon seeds in one fist. One of the scrolls slips through his arms and falls to the floor, and the second he moves to try and pick it up, several more tumble out of his arms. So it's gonna be that kinda day, huh. Ahh, fuck. "Haha, sorry, sorry, I'll get those—"

no subject
For instance, the ideal here would be for Mobei Jun to remain dignifiedly seated while his lowly human servant brings him whatever he has to offer. Unfortunately it's way too embarrassing to watch him fumble the scrolls, so he does end up going over to help. Well, he takes the melon seeds, anyway. That frees up an entire hand for the little guy. Very magnanimous of him.
(Really Shen Yuan does his best to treat Shang Qinghua decently within the limits of his role -- when he met him he was just a kid, and okay, technically Mobei Jun was also a kid at that point, but Shen Yuan wasn't! He was an adult! He couldn't just bully a teenager*! Obviously their respective positions prevent them from being, like, buddies, and being Mobei Jun prevents Shen Yuan from acting in a particularly friendly way to anyone at all, but he can't help but think of Shang Qinghua like... a younger brother, or something. He really hopes he can stop him from ending up getting killed like he's supposed to.)
He sweeps back to his desk, nodding for Shang Qinghua to follow, and sets the bag of melon seeds down next to the notes he was taking for version 3.2 of his meticulously ranked wife chart, which he rolls up and puts aside to make room for whatever Shang Qinghua has brought him.
_________________________________________
*Online doesn't count.
no subject
It takes a little more fumbling, and it's still embarrassing to watch, but Shang Qinghua finally gets it together and dumps them onto the desk. Hey catches only the barest glimpse of whatever it is Mobei Jun is putting away, and tries to peer in for a closer look.
"Working on something, my king?" he asks as he starts sorting through the scrolls, trying to remember which held the intel on each sect. Sure, sure, Mobei Jun's not really big on conversation, but Shang Qinghua figures that if they find something to talk about together, it'll endear him to his demon boss a little more. He was going to need every scrap of goodwill when it came to begging for his life. So far so good...?
no subject
Admittedly Shang Qinghua could probably stand to be a little less intimidated, though. He's not completely sure, because it's not like Shang Qinghua was a very major character, or one he was especially interested in, but Shen Yuan feels like he doesn't remember him being this jumpy? Maybe it's just because the novel never showed him from Mobei Jun's perspective? It does really make people want to protect him, though...
Shen Yuan is a little concerned that it might just be an act he's putting on to make people want to protect him -- but you'd have to be an idiot to expect something like that to work on Mobei Jun, right?
Well, either way... Even if he is a two-faced weasel of a guy, Shen Yuan still doesn't want him to die. Where else is he going to get his human snacks after Luo Binghe conquers the cultivation sects and merges the realms?
He gestures for Shang Qinghua to sit. "What have you brought me?"
Besides the melon seeds, obviously. He'd love to open that bag right now but he has to maintain some decorum. Like, it's not like Shang Qinghua could ruin his reputation or something if Mobei Jun sat across from him eating melon seeds while he was delivering his important spy information, literally who would he tell, but it would seem dismissive, you know? He wants to make him feel like his contributions are valued!
no subject
Shang Qinghua sits down at the desk, but haha, the chair and everything is really meant for someone a little taller than him, so he has to somehow maintain his limited dignity sitting at a desk that comes up almost to his armpits. It wouldn't be very Peak Lordly to ask for a demon phone book, huh?
"Preliminary intelligence on the four sects' participation in the next Immortal Alliance Conference." Shang Qinghua locates the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect scroll and shakes it open with entirely false cheer. He's been dreading this meeting pretty much since he left An Ding Peak, his stomach already attempting to digest itself. "I don't really have much on the other sects yet, but...here's a list of Cang Qiong disciples whose names have been put forward so far."
Luo Binghe would be on that list, of course, among many others. Ah, he was almost out of the painful backstory phase, he had so many youthful experiences to look forward to!
no subject
His expression doesn't change as he scans over the list of young cultivators, but he visibly pauses as he reaches Luo Binghe's name. There he is... the novel is happening already. That poor kid has been enduring terrible abuse and humiliation for years and it's almost time for it to get even worse. Shen Yuan's gaze lingers on the three characters, feeling a pang in his heart. Don't worry, Bing-ge! It'll be worth it in the end...!
Mobei Jun will have to get beaten up en route to Luo Binghe's eventual triumph, of course. But, well, it could probably be worse, right...
He takes a cursory glance over the cannon fodder that makes up the rest of the list (with the exception of best girl Liu Mingyan, obviously), and then makes himself look thoughtful. (This looks approximately the same as when Mobei Jun looks 'interested' or 'annoyed' or 'bored', but it's the thought that counts.) The System takes this moment to remind him that he's obliged to make sure the plot happens and the requisite hordes of demonic beasts are allowed to spill forth from the Endless Abyss and devour hundreds of promising youths.
A minute crease appears between Mobei Jun's eyebrows. Obviously he knows that! Does the System expect him to just announce that plan fully formed straight off the bat? Give him a second, okay?
"Are any of these contestants noteworthy?" he asks. The System beeps at him. He's GETTING to it.
no subject
But not as bad as he feels about how he's about to get offed! Now that they're at the critical juncture, though, maybe this is his best opportunity to save himself. He just has to make himself so useful that there's no benefit in killing him off! He can do that! Maybe!
Shang Qinghua reaches over to tap on the scroll. "Luo Binghe of Qing Jing Peak," he says with just a hint of smug triumph in his voice. "Gongyi Xiao of Huan Hua Palace is at the top of the list too, but if you ask me, Luo Binghe is the real contender here."
He pauses, stealing a glance up at Mobei Jun's exquisitely sculpted face, and sighs inwardly. Well, at least he'll get to die at the hands of a hot guy? It was too much to hope that any of his personal fantasies might come true, at any rate. Shang Qinghua watches him for a moment before he clears his throat.
"What are you thinking, my king?"
He knows the plan, but maybe Mobei Jun will let him make some suggestions to increase its efficacy? Sure, that means more young disciples would get slaughtered, but you were all cannon fodder from the start anyway, sorry!
no subject
Mobei Jun's gaze flickers back down the list.
"Luo Binghe," he repeats, disregarding Shang Qinghua's question. "Do you know him personally?"
no subject
It's not like Mobei Jun knows Luo Binghe's backstory anyway, so why shouldn't Shang Qinghua use this opportunity to try to make himself look good, see, he's clever, see, he's useful to keep around, right? You need someone with an eye for these things, he's your Human Realm guy, so you shouldn't kill him off, right??
Maybe he can stall for time. Does it have to be this Immortal Alliance Conference? Sure, they'd have to wait a few extra years and it'd totally throw of Luo Binghe's timeline, and yeah he cares about that, obviously! It's just! He really doesn't want to die, and if Mobei Jun has to keep him around for longer then Shang Qinghua will have more time to prove his continued usefulness! And maybe Mobei Jun would get a little attached in the meantime, maybe he'd even start to lower his guard around Shang Qinghua and—
"But if you think we need more time—" The System immediately fills his brain with blaring klaxons and a cascade of dialogue boxes all telling him the same thing. He bats them away from his mind as quickly as he can, pressing a hand to his forehead. "—I can, uh, try and make more frequent trips, so your intelligence is more up-to-date..."
A weak follow up! Not even a good one! If he comes here too often then the other Peak Lords probably will eventually suspect something!!
no subject
Shen Yuan means for this to be, like, trying to show he values Shang Qinghua's input even though he cut him off just now, but Mobei Jun's whole demeanour makes it seem kind of like he's being sarcastic instead...
no subject
"I could recommend some other monsters," he starts with a smile that makes him look like a nervous dog, then trails off. Right, right, he's the paperwork guy, Mobei Jun probably just wants him to get on that. At least Mobei Jun usually hangs out with him, well, it's probably not really hanging out so much as overseeing, but still!
no subject
He gestures for Shang Qinghua to continue. Please. Please tell him about the monsters.
no subject
He just...has to remember as much as he can about his own bestiary because he's kind of forgotten a lot!
"Oh, yeah, well, there's the Giant Ruby-Mouthed Snakes to the south, they're kinda hard to wrangle but just unleashing them inside the Conference should be fine...the Labyrinth Link Spiders could help ensure against escape, and, ah, um, damn, the name's on the tip of my tongue, the ones that are kind of like sabre tooth tigers but with more teeth instead of eyes..."
He's watching Mobei Jun's face closely (a little desperately), hoping to keep that interest and maybe bask in it just a little.
no subject
Mobei Jun pauses thoughtfully, considering the rest of the monster roster for the Immortal Alliance Conference.
"... Perhaps I should attend in person. To ensure everything goes smoothly."
no subject
But the System isn’t giving him any warnings, so...maybe this is just a chance for him to really prove himself! Mobei Jun never actually sees him do anything, he just gets the reports, but maybe Shang Qinghua can really impress him! As long as it actually does go smoothly. The extra monsters will help. It’s going to be a bloodbath in there, but hey, at least it’s to someone’s benefit, so no one can say they’re all going to die in vain, right?
“If you think it’s necessary, my king,” Shang Qinghua says, rubbing his hands together. “This servant will have everything worked out, but if you’d like to oversee the operation, I’d welcome your company. Uh—-I mean, I wouldn’t turn down your help. Although I assure you I won’t need it!”
Yes, yes, keep on making promises you might not actually keep, when does anything actually go right!!
no subject
"Demonic beasts can be unpredictable. Shang Qinghua is a valuable asset."
no subject
"I am?" He does a double take, blinking. Sure, he's the main pipeline of information from the cultivation world, but...does that Mobei Jun means he sees value in keeping him around after the Immortal Alliance Conference? Does he actually want to protect Shang Qinghua?? Yes! Yes!! Shang Qinghua catches himself mid-fist pump and quickly clasps his hands together, clearing his throat.
"Ah, well, this servant will do his best not to disappoint you!"
And maybe, if he's really lucky, Mobei Jun will decide to show his appreciation in another way? It's a distant fantasy, sure, but he can dream, okay! He looks considerably more cheerful than when he'd arrived.
"Whatever you need, just leave it to me. I am at your disposal, my king." Wait, word choice, he doesn't want to be associated with the concept of disposing!! So he just quickly repeats, "Whatever you need."
Totally smooth.
no subject
He nods, instead, and says, "Good. Do you have anything else to report?"
no subject
"Uh, no, that's all I've got for today. So if there's any work you need me to take care of..."
And there always is. Demons might not have to deal with taxes or whatever, but supply chain issues were real! There's been this whole thing with the sower demons that seems to be a bigger mess every time he comes here. But that's fine! He'll take on all the busywork with a smile because it looks like his plan is totally working and he'll actually get to live fuck yes!!!
no subject
He tries to deal with as much of this stuff himself as he can, because he doesn't want to burden a guy who he DID just hire to bring him information (and at knifepoint from the System) with extra grunt work... but it DOES give him a headache, and Shang Qinghua is way better at it, and he always offers...
no subject
"Hm mmm...we are flying dreamers, ba da da da da da...hm?" Shang Qinghua shakes free a small sheaf of paper from the pile, squinting at it. Is that...Qin Wanyue's name? And Liu Mingyan? But this isn't his handwriting, it's definitely not from his notes... "Wh...?"
no subject
... Hold on. Is that Naruto? It is Naruto. A frown flickers across his face. "It's 'fighting dreamers'," he corrects without thinking, and then a split second later he is hit, simultaneously and forcefully, with the implications of hearing Naruto music here in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way, the implications of his own having acknowledged it aloud, and with the fact that Shang Qinghua has just revealed some of his important, private notes --
His hand darts across the desk like a viper to seize the incriminating paper, which he crams up his sleeve with a faintly haunted look on his face.
"Where did you hear that song."
no subject
Shang Qinghua has barely processed that a demon just corrected him on the lyrics to a now 15-year-old anime theme song when the notes are ripped from his hands, and he's still processing that. He jumps back as though afraid (reasonably so, even if Mobei Jun's never actually beaten him up he's still pretty imposing!) and swallows the momentary terror in the next minute. His face is white with shock, but he still manages to throw an accusing finger at his supposed-to-be demon king.
"Better question, where did you get those names, because you haven't even read the Huan Hua Palace report!"
Not actually a better question, but his brain is really struggling with the idea that this might not actually be Mobei Jun right now.
no subject
"That's not important. Answer the question."
no subject
He lowers his arms partway, just enough to shoot a glare at Mobei Jun. It's really not Shang Qinghua's fault that he looks kind of hot when he's—well, emoting literally at all, that's not lost on Shang Qinghua, but this isn't even the real Mobei Jun, is he! God dammit!!
"Which you obviously already know, so what gives? Have you been a transmigrator this whole time?"
Under ordinary circumstances, actually, yeah it might be kind of cool to have a fellow transmigrator bro, especially someone with good taste in anime, it's just...he'd prefer it be literally any other character.
no subject
Man... his cute little treason buddy was actually the kind of person who reads PIDW...
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)