☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

[socloverit]

[she totally did not expect for that to work that easily. epsilon is a champ]

only if one of those ground rules is not calling me sister again

[epsiloff]

[ he's also kind of a chump and doesn't actually want to be The Adult, fuck that ]

Okay, fair. Another is that you don't talk to any guys named Tucker, or that have knuckle tattoos.

[socloverit]

alright i'll accept that, no tuckers or knuckles

knuckers


nvm

[even she isn't gonna pretend that wasn't bad]

[epsiloff]

Okay, and there's another thing: no puns and no portmanteaux. Unless it's actually funny.

[epsiloff]

And no knock-knock jokes. Ever.

MISSED A NOTIF

[socloverit]

i'll give you the piranhas and i GUESS the knock knock jokes if we have to but all puns are funny

[epsiloff]

I will grant you puns on a probationary basis as long as we agree that knock-knock jokes are completely off-limits.

[socloverit]

it's a deal! doorbells only, understood

anything else?

[epsiloff]

Seriously, Clover, no knock-knock jokes. I will lose my goddamn mind.

Uh, yeah, also, no sexting while I'm in your phone. I don't want to see that shit.

[socloverit]

first of all why is it always the grossest thing right away with you, secondly i got it i got it! i'm not gonna be knocking you around like that
that was bad i'm sorry, i'll figure out something better

[epsiloff]

Blame it on spending too much time with a guy named Tucker.

[socloverit]

was it a tucker with knuckle tattoos

[epsiloff]

Jesus Christ, no, I think I would've killed myself somewhere within the first six months. Or ten minutes.

[socloverit]

k because if it were 3/3 i would've had to start thinking you were projecting or something

[epsiloff]

Yeah, not the kind of projection I usually do, kid. I don't do creep. Not really my style.

[socloverit]

idk trying to keep your young protegee from repeating your ex related mistakes is weird but not automatically creepy also don't call me kid

[epsiloff]

Jesus Christ I did not DATE Tucker

[socloverit]

wow that was awfully defensive!!! it's ok you can tell me your secret is safe

[epsiloff]

Uh, no, my actual ex was way less of an asshole. I mean -- well, no, actually, she was pretty fucking mean, but at least she wasn't a complete jackass.

[socloverit]

wow you REALLY don't like this tucker guy do you? i'm almost impressed

[epsiloff]

Actually, he's kind of my best friend. Weird, I know.

[socloverit]

oh no i think i get it, like you like him a lot but you're also always tired of him right

[epsiloff]

Uh...yeah, actually, exactly that.

[socloverit]

so you're

tuckered out

[epsiloff]

I fucking hate you.