☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

[epsilol]

Hey it's either annoy the fuck out of you sometimes or tell Caboose what you really did to the thinking rock back at Blood Gulch.

[geographist]

why the fuck do you need to do EITHER of those things

[epsilol]

I already reorganized all the Chorus databases and I don't have any hobbies.

[ Your best friend, Tucker. ]

[geographist]

so you decided to take up guilting me into not jerking off? hate to break it to you dude, but if the 20 pictures of jesus my mom posted in my room didn't do the trick, an annoying pop-up ad isn't gonna do a whole lot

[epsilol]

I wish I could say I'm surprised that you jerked it while watched by 20 different Jesus pictures.

[greyaria]

If you need to talk, my office door is always open.

[the first rule of chorus club is DO NOT LET DR GREY PSYCHOANALYZE YOU]

[greyaria]

I appreciate you not waking me up. That was very considerate of you.

[neverknocks]

[ N O P E ]

how did we go from "get my superior officer out of the trash can" to "york therapy hour"?

[greyaria]

You said you'd rather be Tucker. That's an extremely troubling sentiment, York!

[neverknocks]

nope

not doing this

now help me get carolina out of the trash can

epsilon (yes, another one)

[epsiloff]

i. I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.

ii. Next time I say "watch this" get me the fuck out of the bar.

iii. Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week

iv. Today I only have one kid I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?

v. [text him]

iv

[startpoint]

You must be in a good mood today, that's way less than average.

[epsiloff]

Eh, what can I say. Caboose hasn't accidentally strangled Tucker with a shower curtain, I'm callin it a good day.

[startpoint]

Should I leave you with them a while longer then? I don't want to interrupt the male bonding.

iii

[infailtration]

Liar.

[epsiloff]

Uh, no, 'cause if you leave me here any longer I'm gonna convince Caboose to "accidentally" strangle Tucker with a shower curtain. Seriously, C, come pick me up.

[startpoint]

I'll be there once I'm done training with Wash. Try not to leave any bodies before I get there.

[epsiloff]

I'm not promising anything if Tucker starts talking about his "rock visions" again.

[epsiloff]

And you kiss your mother with that mouth?

[infailtration]

I said liar, not 'fucking liar'.

Whoops.

ii

[socloverit]

what?? no that was the funniest thing that's happened to me in months

[epsiloff]

Nice one, dude. And what exactly am I lying about here?

[epsiloff]

God, NO. Jumping around people's cell phones and radios or whatever seems like a fun party trick until you accidentally land in the middle of someone's nasty collection of dick pics. Nope.

[infailtration]

You don't lie, that's one of your better features.

[socloverit]

if that wasn't enough for you to learn your lesson then i'm not going to be your voice of reason

maybe next time you'll find better dick pics?