☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

Epsilon | Red vs Blue

[epsilol]

1. It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

2. "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face." That's definitely a thing you said.

3. I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that Caboose just had to take a shit

4. Hey doucheface I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you. But only if you actually died.

5. Stop touching yourself.

3

[greyaria]

Oh, dear. I did tell him he needed to eat something besides cheese.

[epsilol]

I hate everything right now. More than usual.

[greyaria]

I appreciate you not waking me up. That was very considerate of you.

[epsilol]

I messaged you eight fucking times and you never answered. I was starting to think you must have died.

5

[geographist]

look, I know you think that if you keep texting me that over and over again, eventually it'll happen to be immediately relevant, and you're not WRONG

but it's also none of your fucking business so fuck off, ceiling cat, seriously

[epsilol]

Hey it's either annoy the fuck out of you sometimes or tell Caboose what you really did to the thinking rock back at Blood Gulch.

[geographist]

why the fuck do you need to do EITHER of those things

[epsilol]

I already reorganized all the Chorus databases and I don't have any hobbies.

[ Your best friend, Tucker. ]

[geographist]

so you decided to take up guilting me into not jerking off? hate to break it to you dude, but if the 20 pictures of jesus my mom posted in my room didn't do the trick, an annoying pop-up ad isn't gonna do a whole lot

[epsilol]

I wish I could say I'm surprised that you jerked it while watched by 20 different Jesus pictures.