☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

[epsiloff]

Really, dude? Did Delta tell you that?

[infailtration]

I added the better features part.

[epsiloff]

Dick move, Clover. Dick move.

Uh, NO? There are no good dick pics for me to be looking at. The only good dick pics would be pics of my dick, and I don't actually have one. You know, strictly speaking.

[socloverit]

lol good one

actually nvm this is getting weird i don't wanna talk about your theoretical dick

1/2

[epsiloff]

Ha ha ha. Oh, you think you are just fuckin hilarious, don't you?

2/2

[epsiloff]

Tell D I know exactly where he's storing those cached audio files, by the way.

[epsiloff]

Uh actually...yeah, let's talk about something else. Not this. Wow. Actually, should I even be letting you go to bars? How the fuck old are you?

[socloverit]

i just turned 21 last month! it's fiiiine don't be a stick in the mud about it, don't you trust me?

[she's a nineteen-year-old liar]

Re: 2/2

[infailtration]

... what cached audio files?

[epsiloff]

And Delta told you we never lie? And you believed that shit?

[epsiloff]

[ and he's an AI with the capability to hack into international databases ]

About as much as I'd trust a nineteen-year-old liar whose records have mostly been sealed by the highest of higher ups. Seriously, all I could pull at a first pass was your DOB. What the fuck kinda shit are you into, kid?

[socloverit]

[aw fuck]

:(

[it takes her way longer to send this frowny face than it should???]

if i'm mature enough to have everything all sealed up like that i'm definitely mature enough to drink! it's fiiiine don't even worry about it

now with person face, because he does actually have one under there somewhere

[epsiloff]

[ she has a compelling point. ]

Alright, sure, fuck it. But we are laying down some ground rules here, you got me, sister?

[socloverit]

[she totally did not expect for that to work that easily. epsilon is a champ]

only if one of those ground rules is not calling me sister again

[epsiloff]

[ he's also kind of a chump and doesn't actually want to be The Adult, fuck that ]

Okay, fair. Another is that you don't talk to any guys named Tucker, or that have knuckle tattoos.

[socloverit]

alright i'll accept that, no tuckers or knuckles

knuckers


nvm

[even she isn't gonna pretend that wasn't bad]

[epsiloff]

Okay, and there's another thing: no puns and no portmanteaux. Unless it's actually funny.

[epsiloff]

And no knock-knock jokes. Ever.

[startpoint]

I'm not helping dispose of the body if you do.

MISSED A NOTIF

[socloverit]

i'll give you the piranhas and i GUESS the knock knock jokes if we have to but all puns are funny

[epsiloff]

Do you want to know how many of his "rock visions" include "busty redheads"?

[startpoint]

I'm not murdering him for you, either.

[epsiloff]

I will grant you puns on a probationary basis as long as we agree that knock-knock jokes are completely off-limits.

[epsiloff]

I don't need you to. All I have to do is get inside his suit, pressure seal it, and turn off life support. Bam.

[ it's not a good thing that he has a ready answer to that. ]

[startpoint]

Church, no.