WRONG TURN TO THE BABY WAR

[jetsplaining]

So, good news -- the space bridge prototype worked. Less good news -- it seems to have taken Starscream with it instead of the drone, which was definitely not the intent. And he hadn't intended to send it to a...ship? It looks like he's on a ship. He can feel the hum of the engines through the bulkheads. There are almost definitely people on this ship -- whose is it? It seems Cybertronian in make, but it's not as though the ports of Cybertron have been especially bustling lately. The hallway he's in is too nondescript to give him a clue as to just what kind of ship this is, but the lack of Decepticon insignias in sight doesn't install a great sense of confidence in him.

His radio pings are hitting dead air, so either no one else was transported here, or the trip messed with his comms. Neither prospect is especially heartening. Clutching his datapad to his chest, Starscream flattens himself against a wall and starts inching toward the nearest turn in the corridor, calling out in a low hiss.

"Megatron?" Nothing. Well. Hm. "Slipstream? ...Strika? Anyone?"

Comments

[towardspeace]

Megatron actually laughs. He's certain he knows what Starscream is talking about, and that interpersonal weakness is one he's much more capable of looking at with a self-critical eye than his whole sordid past and present with Starscream -- probably because he considers his embarrassing overblown rivalry with Optimus Prime to be squarely in his past at this point, whereas he absolutely still hates Starscream and considers his attitude towards him to be objective and reasonable.

"Oh, yes -- just get Optimus Prime out of the way and you'd already be constructing a Decepticon utopia. With your Commander Megatron at its head, of course, and any and all dissent crushed by whatever force he deems necessary, because he's right and anybody who disagrees with him just needs to see reason."

[jetsplaining]

It sets Starscream's teeth on edge that he laughs, and he glares daggers, or energon blasters, or...whatever in Megatron's direction, totally prepared to snap back with some haughty rebuttal, until that totally unfamiliar name draws him up short, and his expression shifts into of sheer bafflement.

"Optimus who? What are you talking about?" He side-eyes Megatron hard. "There hasn't been a Prime in -- megacycles, at least. Who the hell Optimus?"

[towardspeace]

That knocks Megatron right off his high horse. He blinks, and stares blankly at Starscream.

"Optimus Prime," he repeats. But, no, if there haven't been any Primes for that long, then maybe -- "Orion Pax?"

[jetsplaining]

Starscream might take a little more joy in Megatron's abject puzzlement if he hadn't almost immediately dropped a name Starscream does recognize (but he'll take a little joy in it anyway). His eyes lid and he huffs out a vent of air, crossing his arms again. If he's catching Megatron's drift right, and Orion is a Prime somehow in this universe -- ye gods, no wonder this Megatron is such a mess. He's kind of reluctant to concede the point that this Megatron's downfall might be the same for his own, though.

"Orion Pax," he says tartly, "isn't the leader of the Autobots. Elita One is."

[towardspeace]

"Who?" He doesn't recognise the name at all. "How--?"

[jetsplaining]

Every moment that Megatron looks so totally baffled makes Starscream feel just a little more vindicated, and even though he's still pretty annoyed, he does manage a small and irritatingly self-satisfied smirk.

"Elita One," he repeats, emphasizing the syllables as though Megatron is hard-of-hearing. "How have you not heard of her? She's been the leader of the Autobots almost from the start, ever since Alpha Trion appointed her -- right before he kicked it."

[towardspeace]

"I've never heard of her," says Megatron, frowning irritably. He's still perplexed, and he hates having shown it so much. "It sounds like your Autobots are a rather different institution."

[jetsplaining]

Starscream frowns, too, because up until this point they'd been able to agree on the who's who of their respective universes. "Perhaps," he says slowly, peering at Megatron with a more critical eye now. "I don't know how your Autobots formed, but in my universe, they rose up in direct opposition to our forces after the fall of the Senate. They're the ones who started this war, not us."

[towardspeace]

"Hmm," says Megatron. "Interesting." He still sounds annoyed, though, and he's not inclined to explain further about the history of the Autobots he knows. "And this Elita One... what kind of leader is she?"

[jetsplaining]

Starscream rolls his eyes. "Fearless! Noble! Steadfast!" he says mockingly, the words sounding like they've come straight off an Autobot recruitment poster. "She's not stupid, I'll give her that, and her second-in-command is a seasoned veteran from well before the war, and some of her scientific advisors are graduates of the most venerated institutions on Cybertron."

Does he sound bitter about that? Maybe just a tiny bit. "I hear she gives good speeches, and I'll grant that she seems to command a lot of loyalty from her troops. Absolutely unwilling to compromise, though." As though this isn't one of Megatron's own glaring character flaws. Starscream makes a face and flicks a probably imaginary speck of dirt from his shoulder. "I'm sure the fact that she's made it personal for Megatron doesn't help. I think it clouds his judgment on occasion, but sometimes he just won't listen."

He scowls. That's about as much criticism of his conjunx as he's willing to vocalize to this Megatron, but honestly, if Megatron would just listen to reason, then maybe he'd finally just drop a bomb on Iacon and end the whole thing, Orion Pax be damned.

[towardspeace]

Megatron snorts. Yeah, he bets he won't listen. "Made it personal," he repeats, considering. "How?"

[jetsplaining]

"By deciding to date Orion Pax," Starscream says with an incredibly long-suffering look. Ugh. He is so loath to actually mention Orion's name again, but they've already come up and he thinks Megatron could probably have guessed anyway. Actually, what he's the most reluctant to talk about is the fact that Megatron is so obviously not over Orion after all this time, despite his current relationship with Starscream. It's goddamn embarrassing. "She knew it'd get under Megatron's plating. I mean, honestly -- the leader of the Autobots picking up the ex-conjunx of the leader of the Decepticons? It's a classic power move. Honestly, if it weren't so irritating I might actually be impressed."

[towardspeace]

Megatron actually boggles a little.

"I'm sorry," he says, trying to wrap his processor around, firstly, the fact that Starscream seems to be describing soap opera drama but also, more absolutely bewilderingly -- "Did you say ex-conjunx."

[jetsplaining]

Starscream raises a robot eyebrow at Megatron. “His ex-conjunx socia, yes,” he says, as though the context should have been obvious. It has absolutely not occurred to him that that might not be a thing here. “Not that they ever even met in person until they broke up. But when you get down to it, an ex is still an ex, and the fact that Elita is willing to engage in psychological warfare on that level really speaks to her true moral character.”

[towardspeace]

Starscream's complaints about Elita One go largely ignored; Megatron is absolutely distracted by what he's implying about past relationships.

"Are you telling me," he says, turning his whole upper body to face Starscream, "that in the timeline you've come here from, your version of Megatron and Orion Pax were..."

He looks... appalled? Absolutely aghast. A little lost.

[jetsplaining]

"Dating? Yes," Starscream says irritably, although he's giving Megatron a sort of skeptical look. Why this is such a hard pill to swallow doesn't really make sense to him. He'd kind of gotten the impression that things were more or less the same with this Megatron. "What, and you weren't?"

[towardspeace]

"Of course not!" Megatron snaps. The concept is -- absurd. Of course some part of him can't help but enjoy the thought, but that's exactly why it bothers him so much... that some other instance of himself might have had that kind of positive bond with Optimus -- and yet still thrown it away, apparently.

One of his hands forms a fist without his really thinking about it.

"Preposterous," he insists. "The very idea."

[jetsplaining]

Look, this Starscream may not yet be the master manipulator that Megatron clearly knows him as, but he can read that body language pretty well. Starscream gives him a look up and down and says, very unconvinced, "Right."

This would maybe be a little funnier if Megatron being so into Orion wasn't a massive fucking inconvenience and personal pet peeve for Starscream, but it is decently entertaining, watching him struggle with himself. Mocking Megatron has never really occurred to him as a form of genuine entertainment, so this is sort of a novelty, but Starscream's curiosity has a greater hold on his attention.

"What about me? I mean -- not me, obviously," he says hastily. "But your Starscream. What was your relationship with him like?"

[towardspeace]

Megatron glowers at him.

"Profoundly unpleasant, as I'm sure yours is as well. Which is why I'd rather have you off my ship as soon as possible, if it's all the same to you."

[jetsplaining]

Starscream looks downright outraged at that implication -- maybe more than he should, but he has just been talking about his Megatron's weird hangups over Orion, and maybe he's feeling just a little bit sensitive, but he'll admit any of that over his dead body, so, yeah. Indignant outrage is the way to go.

"No, in fact," he says through his teeth, "my relationship with Megatron is just fine. More than fine, actually. Which is why I'd much rather get back to him -- and my Cybertron -- as soon as possible, rather than endure your company any longer than necessary."

[towardspeace]

Megatron raises his robot eyebrows – surprised, but mostly immensely skeptical. "Really," he says. "And you're, what, a loyal second in command?"

[jetsplaining]

Starscream's expression sours further; Megatron has clearly struck a sore spot. "No," he grinds out, "I am a loyal science officer."

Was this universe's Starscream the second-in-command of the Decepticons? Because it sure sounds like it. Was his obviously terrible relationship with Megatron a result of that? Is that some kind of inevitability?

Pfft. No. Absolutely not. Clearly this Megatron never had the same bond that Starscream does. Which is why he adds, more or less unwisely, "And his conjunx socia."

See, Megatron!! He's important. He has what you didn't have. Everything Is Just Fine.

[towardspeace]

Megatron stares at him for a moment.

Then he pinches the bridge of his nose and says, "Good grief," and turns away to continue walking ahead.

[jetsplaining]

Starscream's not really sure what a satisfactory response from Megatron would have looked like, but that definitely isn't it. He fumes for a second before doubling his stride to catch up with an annoyed little grunt.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he scoffs, as obnoxiously as possible, and then he snaps his fingers as though he's had some kind of revelation and bares his teeth at Megatron in a small but very rude smile. "Are you jealous?"

[towardspeace]

Megatron's response to that question is a sort of intensely weary grimace.

"I cannot imagine," he says, "being less jealous."

Unlike his confused response to Starscream's claims about his Megatron's relationship with Orion, this is nothing but the truth. The thought of how much more abjectly terrible everything between himself and Starscream might have been if it had started out as some kind of genuine romantic relationship honestly does not bear thinking about, and yet here he is, being forced to contemplate it.