☆ texts from last night

[runawayballista]

u know the drill

Comments

milly (au) / baten kaitos (god forgive me i have sinned)

[bombsheltered]

i. you face planted into a car door. and somehow didn't drop your burrito.

ii. last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. i have been texted by princess celestia, scarlet witch, and optimus prime. i have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

iii. okay: whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. this will either be REALLY great or really tragic.

iv. sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made siri read the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE

v. the kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums... i feel like i'm living in jumanji

vi. i just woke up with a bunch of french fries in my hand and a chocolate shake on my pillow. who put me to bed?

vii. rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots

viii. i'm honestly considering asking her if i can eat her out, as a friend.

viii

[epsilol]

You aren't allowed around Tucker anymore.

end me

[bombsheltered]

[ INTERNAL SCREAMING

and then panic. but creative panic. ]

haha!! joke's on u, this IS tucker and i stole milly's phone, because i'm a creep who does things like that and then has to get punched in the face

[epsilol]

Nice try, Tucker would never offer to do sexual things to anyone "as a friend".

1/2

[bombsheltered]

LOL THATS THE JOKE OBVIOUSLY. because i was pretending to be milly. who loves making friends

2/2

[bombsheltered]

please don't tell carolina

[epsilol]

Promise me you'll never, ever imply you've had sex with another person ever again and I'll keep quiet.

[bombsheltered]

I PROMISE

so....... you'll forget all about this right?

vii i'm sorry

[cyborged]

[The problem with speech-to-text: It picks up all the weird pauses.]

Oh, uh.

I'm glad you're having fun?

never be sorry

[bombsheltered]

[ internal screaming

why. why this

milly's a problem solver ]

hahaha sorry raiden one of my friends took my phone!!!

[ a total lie. ]

[cyborged]

I don't think

Okay

WELL

I hope you're having fun?

1/2

[bombsheltered]

I AM!!! college is great. its great. everything is great!!!

2/2

[bombsheltered]

you're not mad are you? ;__;

[ WHY DOES SHE HAVE THIS WEIRD FEELING LIKE SHE SHOULD BE IN TROUBLE

probably because she has no idea what a functional family is like ]

[cyborged]

Why would I be mad?

[bombsheltered]

[ SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO NAVIGATE THIS EMOTIONAL TERRITORY ]

idk arent i not supposed to tell that stuff to you??