vorbratta: (set it up and tear it down)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ sonia's brows draw town. she tilts her head to the side. ]

Why would I want to talk to you, Byerly?

[ she makes his name sound -- not like a curse, but something altogether unpleasant. ]
vorrutyer: (haughty (and smug))

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
Because I know you like to talk.
vorbratta: (i'm an ordinary citizen)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ she looks hurt, but there's resentment in there too, just as fierce. fuck off, byerly is on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows it back. ]

That doesn't mean I want to talk to you.
vorrutyer: (Backpfeifengesicht)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Who else?

[ His smile is careless and arrogant. ]

Have you had anyone else to talk to? Aside from me, you're all alone here, Sonia.
vorbratta: (get your hands in it)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ that does sting, and it shows, and she curls around the pillow like it somehow might save her, protect her from this cruelty. ]

No. I'm just alone.

[ and lonely. desperately lonely. it's like the camp before the outsiders showed up all over again, except without her sister or count piotr or armsman gavalas or any of them, the people who kept her safe, the people who made her feel safe. dammit, no, she doesn't want to cry again. ]
vorrutyer: (i can't tell if that's a tit there)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ He pitches his voice low. ]

You don't have to be.
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ that grabs at her in a way she doesn't want to, really, really doesn't want to, but she absently clutches her pillow and looks at him. she almost manages to contain that slight falter, but not quite. ]

You make me feel more alone than an empty room. [ she stares at him. her chest feels uncomfortably tight. ] What do you think could possibly change that?
vorrutyer: (world-weary (and smug))

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ That feels like a blow to the face. Which means: he likes it. ]

Why an empty room? I'm the same man you were friends with before.
vorbratta: (set it up and tear it down)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
It's all the company I have.

[ she keeps her voice short, or at least tries, but she falters then, because her chest only gets tighter thinking about that. about before. her breath hitches. ]

I know. [ is that a blow? even sonia isn't sure. ] But I was foolish before. Stupid. I just wasn't looking at you in the right light.

[ some of that had been willful ignorance. a refusal to believe that byerly really was the awful, undeserving man he claimed. but he just needed a little lifting up, that was all, sonia had thought. and now she's never felt so low. ]
vorrutyer: (god honestly what is this guy's face)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Indifferently, loftily, he reminds her: ]

I told you who I was.
vorbratta: (but never on your sleeve)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
I know.

[ she says it again, but she has to grind out the words, half-choking on them. she swallows, hard. ]

I was stupid. I made mistakes. A pointless waste of energy.
vorrutyer: (world-weary (and smug))

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Well. All you can do now is move forward.
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
[ and then, for the first time, a little bit of scornful sarcasm sneaks into her voice. the look she gives him is almost haughty, if she didn't look so tired. ]

With you?
vorrutyer: (shaaaahhhhts)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. With me. That wasn't such a terrible thought before.
vorbratta: (i'm an ordinary citizen)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
Before you decided just Barrayar wasn't good enough for you.

[ she looks at him warily. now she's the one that feels like prey. she doesn't want to hate byerly. she doesn't want him dead. she just...wants it all undone.

but that's impossible. she keeps the scorn in her voice as much as she can, because it's her only defense right now. ]


And how? You want me to join you in your betrayal? I'd sooner die.
vorrutyer: (attentive)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
Why?

[ His voice grows softer. Just a little more sentimental. ]

What has Barrayar ever done for you?
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ she swallows, can't unclench her teeth enough not to grind out the words. ]

It's my home.
vorrutyer: (punchable intensity)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
It's your place of residence. Tell me: if you could have chosen all the planets in all the Nexus, would you have chosen this one?
vorbratta: (okay dolore)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ sonia's stomach goes cold. she doesn't want to answer the equation, so she evades. ]

I sure as hell wouldn't choose Cetaganda.
vorrutyer: (explaining everything (badly))

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ He presses: ]

But would you choose Barrayar.
vorbratta: (my heart is skipping triplets)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ she finds herself getting flustered, because in ten years, she still hasn't decided what to do after the war is over. stay or go back to beta colony? or keep trying to live between them both? sonia uses every evasion she can, holding onto her pillow like it could somehow protect her. ]

Why do you care?
vorrutyer: (i can't tell if that's a tit there)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ He lowers his eyelids at her, saying lowly: ]

You think I don't want you with me?
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
[ an unwanted shiver passes through her at that, and it shows on her face for just a fleeting moment. those looks, that voice, they had excited her not all that long ago. teased and tantalized, made her want. but it was purely for play, wasn't it? she's still staring at him, jaw tense, everything tense, but something about it has shifted. she feels like she's starting to lose her footing. she tries for a glare, biting the inside of her cheek. ]

You think I'd go anywhere with you?
vorrutyer: (respectable)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ Murmured: ]

Why not?

Don't think of Barrayar. Don't think of Cetaganda. Just think of yourself. What life do you want?
vorbratta: (i'm an ordinary citizen)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ she has. plenty of times. she's had plenty of time to think about it, about how much she hates this war, how much she wishes vorbarr sultana could be a real place again, how much she wishes she could go back to beta colony and finish her schooling, how much she wishes for a normal life in every area. her voice shakes a little. ]

It's not about what I want. [ anything for barrayar, right? but then, a little more fiercely: ] And you haven't come anywhere near me since you entered this room.

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