vorbratta: (so go ahead chiquita)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
[ no, something small in her mind whispers, and sonia's chest seizes, and now she finds she really can't breathe, her last breath trapped in her lungs. for a moment there's no trace of the angry, hurt woman hurling the most painful blows she could come up with, verbal and physical. for a moment instead there sits half-sprawled on the floor a scared and hurt girl, more vulnerable than she's ever realized she could be, and she isn't shaking, but she might as well be. she doesn't get up from the floor, just watches byerly and tries to swallow. her mouth opens, her throat works, but nothing comes out. she feels suddenly, nauseatingly hopeful, burning up in the back of her throat before she can swallow it down. no. there's nothing to hope for here. there is no hope here. there is no hope here...

she can't think of anything to say. she can't even bring herself to get up from the floor. and then her breath comes back in a rush, and she starts to cry. ]
vorrutyer: (Backpfeifengesicht 5)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ He can only watch that for a moment. Then he has to look away. God, all he wants to do is go and hold her. Offer her a handkerchief. Tell her jokes and feed her ridiculous lines until she starts laughing through those tears. Flirt and tease. That's all he wants. But that's not possible here. That's not possible for him. All that he can do is - is stare off to the side and say, roughly - ]

Stop that. That's not going to get you anywhere. [ A beat. This is bad. This is wrong. This is stupid. This is stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, the only thing that's worth anything is maintaining his cover. But his eyes slide over to hers, and he holds her gaze as he tells this lie: ] I'm not like General Vorkosigan. You can't just throw a temper tantrum and have me give in like he does.
vorbratta: (you're an ordinary citizen)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ she starts to feel angry again, if only for that faint flicker of hope, but it isn't enough to get her up off the floor. she can't quite stop crying, not just yet -- you think this is a temper tantrum? doesn't make it out of her mouth, probably for the better. she hiccups, trying to get her breathing under control, but she holds his gaze, her eyes burning with a desperate challenge. she wipes the tears off her face with her good hand, smearing that little well of blood over her cheek. ]

And what -- [ her voice is shaking, thick, but her gaze doesn't waver. ] What is it you're not giving into?
Edited 2017-03-04 00:44 (UTC)
vorrutyer: (shaaaahhhhts)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ No. No...She's too upset to catch on, it seems. That little falsehood, that story of Vorkosigan ever giving in, it had escaped her notice. Damn it all. Possibly...Possibly for the best. ]

I haven't the faintest. What is it you want from me, exactly?
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ the crushing tide of emotion hasn't stopped, not for a second, but the tears are dying down and god, she's getting a headache, but she's getting some of her wits back, too. the entire room feels blurred around her except for byerly, in perfect focus. she rubs her wrist, trying desperately to tease out truth from hope, but there's confirmation bias on every side. she wets her lips, tastes blood for the first time, puts the heel of her hand to her mouth. ]

What do you want from me? [ her voice is hurt, angry, hoarse from yelling, and adrenaline still pulses through her, the only thing keeping her up now. but the look she gives him is very odd. ] You came in here. What the hell do you want from me, Byerly?

[ not hope. don't let it be hope. i can't bear to hope again. she fights with herself, cyclically, because she cannot decide which is worse. and what she's done to him -- oh, god. for a sickening moment, she wishes he had forced himself on her, because if there was any hope to be had, any sliver of light, it might better have been concealed that way. ]
vorrutyer: (staring at the heavens)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I don't know.

[ He shrugs indifferently and raises his gaze to the ceiling. I don't know, I don't know... ]

A bit of cooperation, ideally. It would be nice if you could give your parole and be out and walking around.
vorbratta: (you better be the first to run)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ she narrows her eyes at him, mind tangled, frustrated all over again. she feels sick thinking about it, but the rage had been easier. clearer. he isn't looking at her, but she doesn't take her eyes off him, even as she slowly pushes herself to her feet. ]

Somehow I don't think your ghem lords would be so keen on that. I could cut myself open right now, spill every useless thing in me, and they still wouldn't let me out of this cell.

[ she's still struggling to keep her voice even, but she's thinking better now, enough that every word there was deliberately chosen. she wipes the last bit of blood from her mouth and walks back toward him, slowly, closing the distance he'd so frantically put between them. just to see what happens. ]
vorrutyer: (Backpfeifengesicht 3)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
Are you referring to your secrets, or your blood?

[ His gaze drops down when she moves close. His eyes are wary. He doesn't quite flinch away, but he's clearly considering moving back. But there's always the possibility that she's moving in to slap him again, which he does desperately crave. ]
vorbratta: (because i la-la-love you)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ she's never had anyone react to her like this before. she might hit him again -- she might -- but she isn't that angry just now. just curious and...and desperate. she doesn't know what's been accomplished by byerly even coming here. she takes another step closer. ]

Which would you consider my parole?
vorrutyer: (shaaaahhhhts)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He shifts back a little bit, warily. Still, his voice stays rather light, unconcerned. ]

It's only to Barrayarans that your blood means anything special, Princess.
vorbratta: (i better keep my two legs running)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she watches him takes that step back, takes another of her own. that's a slight, and she feels that hurt and anger bubbling up in her chest again, sick as it makes her. he's running circles around her, making her dizzy, and she knows it -- struggling to stay oriented through all this pain and fury. one hand curls into a fist at her side.

her lips thin, drawing back, and it could've been a smile if her eyes hadn't gone so flat, so angry. her voice is quiet, mostly because it's hoarse, but it comes out venomous. ]


Ah. Of course you fancy yourself more than just an expatriate.
vorrutyer: (Backpfeifengesicht 3)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ His eyes flick down to that curled fist. He lifts his chin just a bit to give her a good angle. ]

And here I thought you liked that I didn't treat you any different.
vorbratta: (okay dolore)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he seems to have recovered his composure somehow, but it's impossible to forget the way he'd recoiled from her like prey. it's never occurred to her to play the predator. something nags at the back of her mind -- he's letting you do this -- but it's drowned out by the rising livid tide in her chest.

she talks another forward step even though he hasn't shifted back yet, directly into his personal space. she's hurt, she's angry, and she wants to see what happens. her answer comes through clenched teeth. ]


As a Barrayaran. You were the only one that warranted that oath. [ her lip curls back in disgust. real, honest loathing. her breath catches in her throat. ] I'm sure it gives you great joy to play pretend with the ghem.
vorrutyer: (staring at the heavens)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He fights the urge to recoil from her again. Instead, he lifts his eyes heavenwards and sighs. ]

The only real difference between ghem and Vor is that the ghem have bathed in the past month.
vorbratta: (stick my head out)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ this time when she hits him it's with a closed fist, a nasty right hook that connects with his chin and leaves her hand hurting, but it's almost guaranteed to have hurt byerly more. she never used to fight like this, never used to know how, but as it turns out, tucker's a pretty good teacher, and she isn't a terrible student, either.

the blow catches in her breath, too, fighting off another round of tears. she's never known anyone to make her so angry. she's been bruised before, hurt by people, but none of them have ever made her this angry, and she hates it. but she doesn't stagger back, even as she withdraws her hand to rub over her knuckles. ]
vorrutyer: (god honestly what is this guy's face)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He staggers again, the breath going out of him as his brain rattles around in his head. Another wave of satisfaction ripples through him, pure miserable masochistic joy. He turns towards her, and unsticks his jaw enough to goad her: ]

Go on. Hit me again.
vorbratta: (okay dolore)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's much easier to make sonia cry than it is to make her angry enough to hit someone, but she is a temperamental girl -- what was it that piotr had said? gives in too easily to fits of emotion? it isn't hard to get any kind of reaction out of her. and right now she's angry, angry and dizzy enough to just keep hitting him, to block all else out.

another ragged cry claws its way out of her throat as she takes another swing at him, hand connecting with his jaw again. her form is bad, she's not hitting him at the right angle and it's hurting her hand, but she doesn't care. ]
vorrutyer: (super broody)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-04 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't care, either. Later, he'll beat his head against the wall in self-loathing, furious at himself for having dragged her into that, made her do all that. It couldn't have been good for her, could only have made her miserable...But in the moment, he's just enjoying it too much. So: ]

Again.
vorbratta: (whoa-oh-oh)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-04 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she isn't enjoying it, couldn't ever admit to enjoying it, but it's satisfying something and she isn't thinking, doesn't have to think with byerly goading her like this. every breath is hitched, on the verge of angry tears, and this time when she hits him in the face, she drives her knee into his stomach again -- just tall enough to manage -- she hits byerly like a prisoner beating her fists against the wall, begging for escape. ]
vorrutyer: (haughty)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ He falls to his knees, gasping for breath. At this point - reasonably - the guards decide that this is enough; two come in, one to restrain her, the other to help him back to his feet and pull him from the cell. He doesn't go truly willingly. ]

I'm all right -
vorbratta: (in two)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ a guard lays hands on her and sonia goes still again, doesn't fight in the least, just hiccuping and trying to swallow the rising tide of tears creeping up the back of her throat. she doesn't resist when the guard pulls her back, doesn't even complain that his grip is far too tight -- she just stares after byerly, red-eyed, calling out hoarsely so loud it might as well be a scream. ]

Why wouldn't you hit me back?
vorrutyer: (super broody)

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Don't you know?

He doesn't respond to that. The guard looking at him looks at his face and pulls him out of the room, evidently determined to take him to the medical bay. After a bit more reluctance, Byerly allows it to happen, going out with them. He doesn't look back at her. ]
vorbratta: (you're an ordinary citizen)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ she has time to think. entirely too much time to think, because hardly anyone comes except to bring food and water. she doesn't pace anymore, she's sick of pacing the length of the room and measuring every step. after they take byerly away she doesn't do anything but curl up on her cot and cry into her pillow, not just weeping tears but screaming them out, playing that scene over and over in her head again. there's too much to untangle, too much to unpack. if there was any trace of honesty in that, if he was doing anything but playing head games with her --

goddammit, byerly, you're awful at telling the truth.

but days go on, and the sting of hope fades, and she just feels miserable about what she's done. what she is, apparently, capable of. she feels sick with it. she wants it all undone.

this time when the chime comes she's curled up on her cot, red-eyed and clutching a pillow to her chest. she looks at the door warily, but she doesn't get up. ]
vorrutyer: (explaining everything (badly))

[personal profile] vorrutyer 2017-03-05 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ If he had the option, he would keep avoiding her. He, unfortunately, does not. The Cetagandans have charged him to secure her cooperation - they believe she's close to breaking, and (they say) if they can bring her over to their side, then they'll have a handle on Xav. And if they have a handle on Xav, they have a handle on the whole resistance to Cetagandan rule.

And so By comes in again, looking perfectly long-suffering and weary. He looks better now, although his face is a little puffy. A little bruised. His opening line is brutal: ]


Done crying?
vorbratta: ('cause girls don't want)

[personal profile] vorbratta 2017-03-05 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ she looks up from her pillow, and it isn't the look of a girl who's just been crying, weeping, hiccuping. it's the look of a girl who's done crying because she's too tired to anymore, at least right now, and she looks flat-out miserable. the look she gives him is lidded, tired, a little dead-eyed but still thoroughly resentful. her voice is hoarse, quiet, her nose a little stuffy, but it's flat and perfectly audible to byerly. ]

I'm not going to hit you again. Just go.

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Dear god help us

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we're going to hell

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