[ He is a foul man. He is a foul, foul man. For a moment, the thought floats through his mind - he could turn on his heel right now, shed his outer garments, and walk out into the cold. Find some place to sit until it's over. He just -

I hated myself, I still do -

He doesn't want her to hate herself. He doesn't want...He wants her to hate him, he wants her to be furious and full of righteous rage. He doesn't want her to hate herself. She hasn't done anything wrong - she's only ever been good and true -

He can't help it. He flinches outright at that declaration, a deeply miserably stricken expression crossing his face. He wheels bodily, turning himself away from her and pretending to pace the room out of annoyance - truthfully, pacing until he can get himself under control again. ]

I suppose that would be a charming side-benefit. But I don't need you to want me, Sonia. All I want is for you to realize the futility of this fight, as I myself did.